Zach Lind Revisited

So, I wrote that I did okay during the interview with Zach Lind.

When I said that I mean that I woke up last night, in a nightmarish mode saying….”Oh…my…God…”

Now, I totally agree that I am overly critical of myself but in telling my over dramatized version of the story to my mom here is what she said:

Mom: Oh my gosh Leslie you are usually good at these kind of things, but this sounds like a Saturday Night Live Skit…(and then laughed uncontrollably for about 2 minutes…)

A recap of some things I said:

“So, your playing a show soon….oh my gosh are you nervous?”

“I just want to say that I am a big fan and you guys have gotten my through so many solo road trips”

“I freaking love how you guys don’t try to classify yourselves as emo just you just r..r..rock and its simple and AWESOME”

“Ummm…yeah…uhmmm…that’s frustrating………….SO (high pitch voice) tell me about your family?

And the best one of all….

“Good stuff…good stuff” (in the most Larry David way you could possibly get)

Here is why this stuff is hilarious…because I was professional-like and serious…two things that I really don’t pull off well.

I only wear my professional hat at work and when I say professional hat I mean I burst out into song every few minutes, I do karate kicks in the hallway when no one is watching and I dance to the beat of the copy machine.

But, ya know, I love to tell stories and find so much joy in making people laugh and this is one story that has been working pretty well. So my only thought is, Nick, who is next?

Zach Lind

So, I just half interviewed Zach Lind, drummer of Jimmy Eat World.

Here is the secret…I seriously almost peed my pants (not cool in this situation Sandler, I’m 25). Every phone call that Nick got on his cell phone sent me running for my notes which I may add I prepared THREE revised notes on this interview before. I even forgot my notes at work which I had emailed to Nick for review and had to have Nick mail them to my home email. I guess it took writing this down to realize that I am retarded. Once he did call, I did take a bathroom break for good measure (if you listen close you might hear this in the background).

Now, I don’t think Zach knew this, but he also really didn’t know that this is the one band that has always been good to me. That I introduced Nick to this band and we have had many a road trip rocking to Jimmy Eat World. That I did a blog about how Jimmy Eat World is awesome.

Zach also didn’t know that a guy I dated named Auggie introduced me to them my freshman year right before I got mono at FSU, before he became retarded, whiny, and turned out to be dating his girlfriend the whole time we were dating. I found this out when I was dropping by to visit him, so I had a few glasses of wine and made fun of him at a party. I was very mature at the time. I bet Auggie is still trying to get his band going with a cracked-out girlfriend while I just interviewed his idol.

So Zach didn’t know this stuff and he could not have been nicer to us. I came off as professional Leslie not fun Leslie and I didn’t get to make my jokes that I planned in my head (Brian, get ready, get me up on stage and my stand-up will kick your stand-ups hiney), but all in all…it was a good experience.

I invited him over to birmingham, I mean b-b-b-miingham. Maybe they will play a ss–shhh=show here sometime.

P.S. After some thought, I think I need to have a part deux to this post…just chew on this for a day or two

Dreeeeaaamm, Dream, Dream, Dreeeam

So, I have incredibly vivid dreams, and I believe all of them happened for the first half of the day. I have to remind myself that nick isn’t in the war, I was not killed, that I didn’t jump off a cliff.

I also have dreams that are psychic…I think I might have The ESP.

Last night I was watching a really stupid TV. Show documentary showing people’s first night in jail. This guy looked like a skinhead, was really buff and scary, and came in super drunk and crazy. They asked him to take a breathalyzer and whichever police officer asked him he would respond with devil eyes and say, “I’m NOT TALKING TO YOU FOO! LET ME TALK TO SOMEONE ELSE. DONT TOUCH ME BRO. WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.” That kind of thing.

Then they put him in a cell where he pretty much knocked himself out from banging on the wall. So they had to put him in a restraint chair and he made crazy scary faces.

So I had a dream about 5 months ago that I was that guy! I mean everything he did. In fact, I knew what he was going to do!

So, I guess in my dreams I become a skinhead drunk crazy man who is on steroids, doesn’t like to breathe on things, and has a concussion.

But the dream I had last night was so much different that this one and it was awesome.

So I also watched Survivor last night where people think it is cool to starve people while they watch them perform circus acts and hold food and money over their heads. And I like this show. I can’t feel to bad for them because they did it to themselves. Apparently they like 1,000,000 dollars more than food and so I raise my peanut butter and jelly sandwich up in the air and cheers to that.

Anywho, after watching these 85-pound human beings I feel asleep to dream my Sylvia Brown dreams. Instead I had a dream that I went a fitness camp that turned out to be a camp where fitness means starving. After getting released from this place I ran home to show my mom. When I finally looked in the mirror I saw a 70-pound weakling, with protruding cheekbones, no butt, no thighs, no boobs, no nothing, just skeleton and I was appalled. I looked so horrible.

Here is where the good part comes in ladies…. you know what I’m talking about…

I always have something negative to say about my body…one word…female. Guys find their confidence in being providers and being successful…. we find it in great abs and tight inner thighs.

But this morning was different. I got in the shower butt naked as any person stood and I loved every inch of me. I liked how I had boobs and a plump booty and a little jiggle here and there. I loved how I had a somethin’-somethin’ to shake around.

So today I see myself as the sh** and my body is bangin’.

I’m okay with it

I have been thinking a ton lately about something my friend Brian Murphy said.

We have been invited to eat over at the Murphy’s a couple of times and each time is more and more fun. For some reason Nick and I don’t have a lot of people over to our apartment because it doesn’t feel like the right space for entertaining, but their space is perfect and they are the perfect hosts.

So, we always get into some kind of deep spiritual talks about growing up and our thoughts about Christianity. One thing Brian has said to us a couple of times is, “I think you guys have been burned by the church.” Each time this has send my little mind running. I was thinking, “Am I angry at the church. Has the church really burned me? What is the cause of my current thought process?”

Here are some of my thoughts:

My current stance was there before I got involved in a church and is present now. So, that makes me feel that the church is not where my lack of belief in Christianity comes from. I think that my negative feelings towards Sugar Hill United Methodist Church are due to the wrongdoings at Sugar Hill United Methodist church and their lack of quality leadership. Not to mention the mistreatment of employees and their focus on money and not people. So, yes, I am angry at that particular church or other churches that seem to follow that structure, but really I am not angry at church as a whole. I think it is a great place for people to be apart of a community that links them to a community. I still want to belong to an Episcopalian Church because the idea of history and tradition are enjoyable to me.

I think I do have some anger though and I have found out where it stems from:

People.

I am upset at the way people have twisted and turned the bible to mean some thing that is does not. I am upset at the way people have made a Jesus or a God according to their interpretations that conveniently fit for them. I am upset at Jesus and God have become an escape and solution for death, isolation, tragedy, helplessness, and the idea of loneliness.

I am kind of upset that I was taught to believe in a God and a Jesus that would answer any prayer I wanted and would listen to what I wanted. That was basically like superhuman who could listen to billions of prayers all at once, free us from this life, help us when all we fell is doom, heal, and be reborn just so that our sins are wiped clean just so that we can sin again.

I am also upset to find that really, this God that was explained to me is not present in my life. Now I am not upset this it is not present in my life, more upset that people made me believe that it was.

Gosh, I feel like this reads harsh and very pessimistic-like and I would be lying if I said that I have been like that at times about this topic, and maybe a tinge of anger will always be with me, but I don’t really feel like that right now.

I feel like my life is that much more precious because all I have is now. I feel like I can rest in the fact that my life is what I make it to be, and it is going to be one crazy wild ride, and I have control over that. That hard work really gets you somewhere and responsibility will make or break you. That our minds are what heals us along with medicine, and really positive thinking and the belief in the body, breath, and the power of the brain will change your life.

So I will conclude with a quote that is so right on for me.

True religion is real living; living with all one’s soul, with all one’s goodness and righteousness.

Treece and Fiedler Elf

Our Christmas Card!

New Bridal

I did some bridals this weekend that were so much fun!

All the pictures were new and exciting for me and they were both so easy to work with.

Take a look….

First embarrassing moment

Most days I am brought back to moments where I totally embarrassed myself. I guess I have had so many I am able to think about new ones everyday. But the good thing is that I put myself in crazy situations without fear because there is nothing I haven’t already turned red in the face about.

But, this morning I think I pinpointed my first really big embarrassing moment.

(When I say “big” I mean let’s forget the times when you were little and lost in a store and you ran up and hugged the wrong persons leg, just to look up and be completely mortified. I had a ton of those that left me crying from embarrassment)

But my first original embarrassing moment came when I was about 9 or 10 years old.

I have always loved the sound of a guitar (to me a good Taylor sounds like bells) and I wanted so bad to play guitar so I had my mom get me started in guitar lessons. They bought me this beautiful guitar…I think we bought it at a thrift store for about 15 bucks, but I loved it so much. It was a dark red the faded to a orange color in the center. I was a petite guitar and fit my fragile pre-boobless and buttless frame completely.

And I loved it. My guitar teacher was good too, but I don’t think I liked him because he kept telling me that I won’t get any better unless I practice. He also told me I could not have long nails if I want to play. So this made me sad I guess, and I think about this every time I bite my fingers nails to the bone.

Oh, and my guitar case was just as heavy as I was and I used to lug this thing around with anger. I think this is why I stopped playing…I felt that the case was stunting my growth.

Forward to pre and post most embarrassing moment.

So…if you play an instrument, people automatically feel that you should play a solo concert…bad idea. Really bad idea.

I had two songs.

One was Flur De Luis (or however you spell that) and the other one was about Danny Boy.

I am going to spare myself some of the memories, but I froze up. My fingers would not play what my heart and ego wanted them to play. I hit all the wrong notes to the point were I squinted and squirmed at every one…right along with the parents in the audience who were thanking God that their kid was not as bad as I was.

What happened next was like the moment when Forest wants to save Jenny from all guys hitting on her while she was” Just playing here”

Well, take out the nude guitar playing, the 20 something Jenny, the jerks, Forrest, and the bar.

Keep the blonde hair, the guitar, and the girl running off the stage.

I ran through the center isle and into the girl’s bathroom where I cried.

Now, I love playing my guitar and singing…it might be the best feeling ever. I can only really say for me that it just feels good to play. But, even today, even in front of my husband, I shrivel up and want to die.

And that is where it all began…where the years of embarrassment started and learning how to say…oh…what the hell…

My Response

Josh Brown put up a post this week discussing some ideas from Brian McLaren’s new book, Everything Must Change. I copied my responses here below because I realized that I would like to share my views on my blog. Below are my respones

I think we give God and evil too much credit.

If it stopped raining just when you wanted…that just had to be God and he did it just for you…. couldn’t it just be that it stopped raining for a second. Or when someone goes in to remission from cancer, couldn’t it just have been the chemo?

And as far as evil, I don’t think it is evil as much as it is choice. “God” may be just another word for free will, and then evil is just really a bad or really really really bad decision(s).

As humas we have the capacity to make huge choices, these can be good, these can be bad, but maybe that is all it is…and God and Evil have nothing to do with it.

Later Josh touched on a quote from Brian McClaren’s new book, Everything Must Change.

Here is a quote:

Since the human race is in such desperate trouble, Jesus seeks to answer this question: What must be done about the mess we’re in?”

I don’t think that humans are in desperate trouble. I mean I think there are some really sad things going on, and things that are happening in the world sadden me, but I also see a ton of good in people who are working to change the world for the sake of humanity and what is good.

I don’t think we have to be so pessimistic about it. There are so many great things going on that are making the world better. There are tons of people saying that doing good for other countries, for instance, the US setting up clean wells in Africa, could stop wars. These are ideas created by humans…the “good” can combat “evil”. The past two posts snippets have shown that people still live with the idea that because we are human, we are forever flawed. That we are covered with sin and are unholy and unworthy. I don’t think there could be anything worse for the human race than to think that we are broken and flawed. Pessimism can promote laziness, the idea that, well, I am not good enough to do anything right, so I just wont. This kind of depression-like state destroys people.

So, if people do think that there is such a mess, maybe we need to go back to where it started, and it might just be that is started with an a feeling of worthlessness which created anger and hate, which created a “mess.”

I went on to say that I did not think that most people are doing good because of a higher framework or being.

I am just going to use myself as an example. Before I ever knew what Jesus did, when I was very little (this is NOT to toot my horn, but I can’t really speak for other people) I used to get so upset at night about babies being hungry and I wrote President Bush a letter saying that dolphins are being caught in nets and dying (I got a little picture with this signature on it and my dad thought that was cool). Now I have incredible parents, but they never said or even thought, well Jesus or God cares about babies and dolphins so you should too. And I didn’t feel or care about these things at all because of Jesus, I just think that people are born pretty good people. I think crazy families can present challenges for people growing up. I think there have been some amazing people that do amazing things and it has nothing at all to do with Jesus but everything to do with the goodness of humanity.

And yes I agree that some great people are centered on a non-violent, servant example, and the story, and what I want to emphasize the word story, of Jesus showed that, and that is good, but I don’t think it has to be because of Jesus. I think before Jesus there were some awesome MLK’s.

Now, I think Jesus can help people to be accountable…like in the car when you want to cut someone off you think WWJD, but I don’t think you have to have that to be good.

Favorite Band

So, there are some current bands that I love:

(so a couple of these might not be considered bands, but I saw them when they played with a band…so there)

Ben Folds
Iron & Wine
Sufjan
Death Cab

But when it comes down to it…there is one band that I probably love more than all of these…tomorrow I might change my mind…but here is what I think today….

JIMMY EAT WORLD.

I don’t know if that is cool, hip-happening, kosher, or if that makes me totally unrespected in the music world, but this band is so far beyond awesome.

Every single album they release is awesome and I can listen to the whole album all the way through and feel satisfied.

I automatically go in to air guitar mode and rock my car like Zepplin rocked What is and What Should Never Be.

And I usually can harmonize the hell out of their albums which I cant do so well with other artists. I mean I can really mess up some harmonies to the point where I really humiliate myself, and this is when I am by myself singing in my car.

So, there is that. Please comment on what is your favorite current band, or at least today what it is.

Banner

Truth is I think all of WordPress layouts suck.

If any one wants to make me a banner or something cool, please do.

I think Josh Brown owes me one….AHhhhemmm…but, if anyone else wants to spice up my blog, have a go at it.

Now see below for weekend fun.